And just like that...

Babyhood is laid to rest.

If I didn't live in a house with 3 boys, if instead I lived with my dearest girlfriends - I would ball my eyes out and scream, "I'm not ready! This cannot be over yet."

But I do live with 3 boys, all of whom I love dearly. And for them, or because of them, the scream, the tantrum, will play out only in my heart.

So what's all this about?

My three year old got a fancy new lofted bed a couple weeks back. We placed his toddler bed underneath just in case he wasn't ready for the bigger bed. But today, just before naps, my two year old decided it was where he wanted to sleep. And just like that babyhood is laid to rest.

The crib that has been occupied everyday for over three and a half years is not getting use in my house anymore. And I'm pretty sure I wasn't ready.

Just last night my husband asked when we would move Macalan out of the crib and I replied, "Oh we're not even close, Charlie was over 2 and a half."

In my head though I was plotting how long I could keep him IN his crib. I was feeling the panic already only at the mention of being done with the crib. And now, just like that, it's been done.

My hope against hope is that babyhood is only napping. That this crib will be allowed to take up space in our house unused for a time, but to be occupied again...just one more time.